Love Notes

What to put in your dating profile (and what to leave out)

Your profile is your first impression. A few simple changes can bring you better matches and better conversations.

By Coach KJ Mensah, founder of AfroDuo and relationship coach

I review a lot of dating profiles. The same small mistakes show up again and again, and they're easy to fix. Here is what works.

Photos: show your face, show your life

Your first photo should be clear, recent and just you, with a real smile. No sunglasses, no group shots, no filters that change your face. Then add photos that show your life: you at church, cooking, with your nieces at a family event, traveling. People want to picture spending time with you.

Skip cartoon or AI images, photos of cars, and pictures where we have to guess which person you are.

Your bio: specific beats general

"I love God, family and having fun" describes almost everyone. Try something only you could write: "Sunday mornings are for church and my mum's light soup. I'm learning to play the guitar, badly." Specific details give people something to ask about.

Say what you're looking for

If you want marriage, say so kindly and clearly. The right people will be relieved. The wrong people will move on, which saves everyone time.

Leave out the list of demands

"No drama, no liars, must be 6 feet, don't message me if..." reads as bitter, even when it comes from hurt. Focus on what you offer and what you hope to build.

Add your voice or a short video

A 15-second video intro does more than any paragraph. People hear your accent, see your smile and feel your energy. Profiles with a video or voice intro tend to get more attention.

Get verified

A Verified badge tells people you're real. In a world full of fake profiles, that alone makes serious people more likely to say hello.

Your profile doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be honest and to sound like you. Update it once a month, and keep your photos current.