Love Notes

Red flags to notice in the first month of dating

Early excitement can make it easy to ignore warning signs. Here are the ones worth taking seriously.

By Coach KJ Mensah, founder of AfroDuo and relationship coach

The first month is when people show you who they are, often before they realize it. Pay attention.

They rush everything

Talking about marriage in week one, saying "I love you" before you've met, wanting you to delete the app immediately. Intensity is not the same as commitment.

Their story keeps changing

Small details that don't add up, like where they work or why they're single, deserve a gentle question. Honest people don't mind.

They're unkind to others

Watch how they speak about exes, waiters, family. Eventually, you'll be treated the same way.

They disappear and reappear

Hot and cold attention keeps you anxious. Consistency is what you want.

They ask for money or favors

Any money request early on is a hard stop. No exceptions.

You feel worse about yourself

Love should feel safe. If you're always confused, anxious or apologizing, step back.

Noticing a red flag doesn't mean you were foolish. It means you're paying attention. Trust what you see.