Love Notes

How to spot a romance scammer before it costs you

Romance scams target Africans at home and in the diaspora every day. These are the warning signs, and what to do if something feels off.

By Coach KJ Mensah, founder of AfroDuo and relationship coach

Romance scams are not rare, and they are not only a problem for "naive" people. Smart, educated, careful people lose money every year because scammers are patient and very good at what they do. Knowing the pattern is your best protection.

The usual story

It often starts with someone too perfect: great photos, a respectable job overseas (soldier, engineer on an oil rig, doctor with an aid group), and fast, intense attention. Within days they are calling you "my love." Within weeks there is an emergency.

Warning signs

• They won't video call. The camera is always broken, the connection is always bad. Real people can show their face.
• They move you off the app quickly. They want WhatsApp or Telegram right away, where nobody can report them.
• Money comes up. A customs fee, a hospital bill, a plane ticket to finally meet you, a "business opportunity" or crypto investment. Any request for money is your signal to stop.
• The story has holes. Details change. They can't answer simple questions about the city they claim to live in.
• They push secrecy. "Don't tell your family about us yet." Scammers isolate people because friends and family see clearly.

How to protect yourself

Video call before you get attached. Do a reverse image search on their photos. Keep conversations on the app for the first few weeks. Never send money, gift cards or crypto to someone you haven't met in person, no matter how real the story sounds.

This is also why AfroDuo asks every member to verify their ID with a live selfie before chatting. A gold Verified badge means a real person with a real ID is behind that profile. It doesn't replace your judgment, but it removes most fake profiles before you ever see them.

If something feels off

Trust that feeling. Stop sending messages, report the profile, and talk to someone you trust. If you've already sent money, contact your bank right away and report it to the police or your country's fraud office. Feeling embarrassed is normal. Staying quiet only helps the scammer.